10 Questions I’d Like to Ask the Skate Gods

Life can be complicated and I think this adage can be used to describe figure skating as well. Some people turn to religion to answer all the questions on life, the universe and everything but in the world of figure skating, you could try and appeal to the capricious Skate Gods for help though they may end up ruining your hopes and dreams. Well, your figure skating-related hopes and dreams at least. I try to avoid the Skate Gods as I do have a few friends who claim to sacrifice babies and kittens to them… In any case, here are a few questions whose answers I’m dying to know.

1.Will we ever see a perfect layback spin a la Sasha Cohen ever again?

2. Will Nikolai Morozov ever realize that his choreography sucks? And that Evanescence was only “cool” like… ten years ago?

3. Who is that awesome person who puts on Glee mashups and music at Canadian events while skaters are waiting in the Kiss and Cry?

4. When will Plushenko ever be gone for good?

5. How can the coach who brought Michelle Kwan to stardom be such a misogynist douche?

6. Who do I have to ask permission from to pinch Yuzuru Hanyu’s cheeks?

7. Will the pairs event ever return to its former state of loveliness under the IJS?

8. How does a skater stop themselves from flutzing? (I should probably ask a coach rather than the Skate Gods this question.) And speaking of lutzes, when will the judges give Adam Rippon credit for the Rippon Lutz?

9. What is going on with Marina Zueva? Since the Olympics, her programs have lost that special spark and usual magic.

My most pressing question:

10. Exactly WHAT does Patrick Chan have to do to get a shitty score?

What questions would you ask the Skate Gods?

~The Rinkside Cafe

Advertisements

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. andanta
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 04:00:15

    10. Exactly WHAT does Patrick Chan have to do to get a shitty score?
    —————————————————
    to represent China as he wishes………….

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: